When many foreigners come to visit the USA in the summer, you can often identify them by what they wear to the beach. American males wear baggy swim shorts. Many Asian and European males wear speedos.

Each summer, when students come to the USA as part of our Passages Program (https://www.ascend-international.com/programs/university/), I coach males in what is appropriate to wear on American beaches.  Some will choose to dress more culturally appropriate (baggy shorts) while others disregard the coaching and choose to dress appropriate to their home culture (Speedos).

Is this scenario playing out across beaches in the USA about anything bigger than a preference between baggy shorts and Speedos? I think so, and here is why:

People who cross cultures well seem to possess two outstanding qualities: humility and courage.  Humility is a willingness to say, “I’m American, but I don’t have to behave ‘American’ in your culture. I can humbly learn how you like to operate in your culture and adapt to that behavior.” This can be very hard for rugged individualists who often insist on their own way. Americans often live by the adage: “It’s my way or the highway,” meaning, “if you don’t like it my way, you can go” (take the highway and leave). The characteristic of humility also strengthens us to partner. If I am ready to say, “I don’t have to do things MY way,” I am more positioned to partner well with others.

The other quality necessary to cross cultures well is courage. It takes courage to act in way that feels unnatural to you. It takes courage to lay aside our ingrained ways of dealing with others and act in ways that are preferred by the host culture.  While “The Golden Rule” says treat people the way you want to be treated, a great rule for working in other cultures is a rule Raines and Ewing refer to as, “The Titanium Rule,” which says, “treat others according to THEIR druthers” (treat others the way THEY want to be treated). It takes humility and courage to learn to treat people the way THEY want to be treated vs the way you naturally want to treat them.

Whether you are starting a business, working in an international company, studying abroad or developing an international friendship, possessing the qualities of humility and courage will greatly aid you in your success. It really IS about more than baggy shorts or speedosJ.